Aftermath [Cristina and Owen-only]

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

Cristina had never been so scared in all her life, except when maybe her father was dying. There was a father dying on the table. Not just any father, but the father of her best friend’s baby, her soon to be godchild. There weren’t too many people in her life that Cristina cared about or would risk her own life for, but Meredith was one of them. Her person. Meredith’s husband was on that table with his life in her hands.

Nerves of steel, Cristina’s hands were steady repairing what the shooter had done to Derek Shepherd as the man with the gun had it pointed at her head while she operated. She refused to stop until Owen and Meredith both came into the OR. Owen was shot and Avery managed to confuse the shooter that Derek had died. The shooter had left the OR and Cristina yelled at Meredith. “I’m saving your man. You go save mine!”

It was a bitter sweet reunion for Owen and Cristina. Why did it have to take a life and death situation for Owen to proclaim his love for her. He chose her over Teddy. The knowledge that he was alive was enough to satisfy her for now and while he slept in a room recovering from the gunshot. Dying for some coffee she headed down the corridor where Meredith was coming from Derek’s room.
“Did you hear??” Meredith began walking with her.
“Hear what?? And please no morbid things about axe murders again. I think you jinxed it.” Cristina was tired.
“The Chief is the Chief again. You getting coffee??”
“Good! Yeah I’m dying for some.”
“What??” Meredith looked at her strangely.
“The Chief needs to be the Chief again. That’s all I’m saying. “ Cristina kept walking down the hallway with her.
“Deep down, I want Derek to step down. I want things back to the way it used to be before shooters where patrolling the hallways. But Derek …well he‘s the chief.”
“Nothing is ever going to be the way it was. If that was the case you would be having your hand in some guys chest holding a bomb. That was a memory I’d like to forget. Just like last night. Maybe it‘s for the best you know??”
“I know but..”
“Meredith?? I just had a gun at my head trying to save your postitMcDreamy. That was not all McFun. That was no happy meal. Then you miscarried and my Owen got shot. Although I aced the GWS and I’m hardcore, I really need time to think on all that. The Chiefdom does not play into all this. Worry about Derek being Derek. Be a good post it wife and take care of my patient. I’ll bring you some coffee and come check on him.”

Meredith stood in front of the elevator while Cristina went in. As the doors closed Meredith smiled “YOU are McHardcore.” Before Cristina made her way to the coffee cart she needed a moment. Nothing had all sunk in yet and the elevator ride as quiet as it was, made everything that had happened in the past few hours flashback to her. Leaving the elevator Cristina went down the side corridor to head down the stairs to go to the vent. She needed the vent. It was her hideout away from the world. Cristina Yang needed a moment to herself.

“Yang?” A faint voice came from down the hallway. It was Bailey, but her voice was not screaming at her to do something. When she came closer, she smiled at Cristina. It was the first time in a long time.
“I never tell you when you do a good job, cause I know you’ll be runnin around with a big head all the time. But, being your teacher, and watching you for the past two years…I am proud of you. You are a surgeon.”
Bailey’s eyes swelled up as she took a comforting grip on Cristina’s arm.
“Thank you, mam.” Cristina said quietly wanting to say more but she wasn’t going to be boastful like she would have before. Yang had changed. She had come into her own and matured.
“I’m letting you know, I released Dr. Hunt. He‘s runnin around here somewhere..” Bailey smiled one last time
“A surgeon.” another chuckle from her as she left.


Cristina finally made it to the vent and started pacing around trying to catch her breath. It was all hitting her. Everything. It was then she took it all in. Jackson was right. She was a surgeon. She saved a man’s life all on her own. A good man who would someday be a good father. There was a bit of redemption in that and if her own father was looking down on her…he would be proud.

Then her thoughts landed on Owen. She almost lost him in there and that scared her more than anything. It was strange for Cristina to push him away too scared to keep close, yet terrified if something would happen to him. She loved him and still convinced herself that he loved her, trying to just let it happen instead of keeping up that wall. Instead of questioning his intentions any further , she stood on the vent and let the air take her away.

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

Owen had left Teddy and their patient in the parking lot with the ambulances and he took off back into the hospital. He chose Cristina. He would always choose Cristina. He ran through the halls of the hospital, needing to know if Cristina was okay. He needed to see with his own eyes that she was alive and not laying on the ground somewhere bleeding. He found the OR where Cristina was operating and saw Meredith and April on the floor of the scrub room. He also saw Clark with a gun to Cristina's head. His heart managed to stop and break all at the same time. He kept his face calm for Meredith as he grabbed a mask and walked into the OR. He took a bullet that was technically meant for Meredith.

How ironic. He lived through his tours in Iraq only to be shot in his hospital.

Meredith and April held him down on the operating table and got his shoulder cleaned and stitched up. He managed to get back to Cristina and see finish up the surgery after a close call. His eyes met hers and the love that he felt could be clearly seen. Once the surgery was over Meredith called Bailey and she had him move to another room.

"You have to get your butt up and outta that OR. Gotta get you checked out." she said to him. Even though she was much shorter and smaller than he was, she always managed to push him around by 'asking nicely'.

Owen got up and let Bailey check him over and got him his discharge papers. He signed them all and walked quickly through the hospital looking for Cristina. When he didn't find her in the OR rooms he went to on-call rooms. When she wasn't there he leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and swallowed thickly, his forehead breaking out in a sweat. He sighed a bit and pushed away from the wall and walked to the one place he knew she had to be. The one place he knew he should have looked at first.

He ran to the vent and pushed open the door, sending it slamming against the wall. The noise echoed through the room and he stood in front of Cristina, breathing heavily, his face sweaty. He looked at her and he breathed in deeply through his nose, letting it out slow to regain his regular heart rate. He just watched her for a few minutes, not sure what to say.

"Cristina..." he trailed off. He sighed a bit and took a few steps closer to her. "How's Shepherd?" he moved toward her and placed his hand on her shoulder and moved it a little so his thumb could circle some of her collarbone. He didn't need to tell her how great she had done in the OR. He knew that when he looked at her when she finished that his eyes told her how proud he was of her.

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

After the air had blew up through her hair whisking her away from every fear and worry in her mind, it was disrupted by Owen, throwing the vent door open. It shocked, Cristina who had her eyes closed at the time.
“sh-t. You scared me.” Her breathing heavy for a moment, only to catch it, then she just stood there looking up at him. They hadn’t spoken since the incident and she was at a loss for words.

What she wanted to say , she couldn’t, not right then. Part of her wanted to scream at him fro getting shot at and the other part of her just wanted to take him in her arms, hold him and never let go. Fortunately he broke the silence. Cristina had a confused look on her face that the only thing he wanted to talk to her about was Derek. “He’s…fine. He’s going to be fine.”

She could see the sweat beading off his brow. Cristina’s own experience with Mr. Clarke had consumed her and didn’t think how it affected Owen, but just at that moment, she wondered. “Are you…alright??” She moved in closer to him and rubbed the side of his good arm softly letting it linger with compassion. Her hand slipped to his and she gave it a gentle squeeze.

Cristina realized she needed to say something. Before the shooting she had ended it with Owen and did not want to leave it that way between them. But she needed to know if this act of heroism was just for the moment or did he really choose her.
“Owen…” she said so softly under the hum of the pipes in the room. “you said…” her eyes kept to the ground unable to look at him. “You said…I was the woman you loved. Did you mean that or did you just say it because I had a gun to my head. I mean.. I need to know, Owen” Afraid of the answer she swallowed hard and squeezed his hand again.

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

Owen nodded when she said Derek was going to be fine. "Good.." he mumbled. When her hand reached his he laced their fingers together and sighed, his thumb brushing against the back of her hand. He swallowed thickly and cleared his throat. When she asked if he was serious he froze for a moment and then nodded. "Of course." he said to her as he looked at her, his eyes watching her as she looked at the ground.

He pulled her close to him, wrapping his good arm around her. "Even after you broke up with me...all I could do was..." he sighed and tailed off. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it Cristina." he said as his good hand lifted and he ran his fingers through her hair and closed his eyes. He winced a bit as the pain in his shoulder ran up his spine. He pulled away and sat against one of the ledges. "Cristina you just took off without saying anything to me...you break up with me and I got no chance to explain...anything." he looked over at her.

Thought he said he had no chance to explain, he wasn't even sure what there was to explain. His heart belonged to Cristina, and yet a part of him yearned for Teddy. He knew that it always would. He was in love with Cristina and he loved Teddy. He wanted a future with Cristina, he just wanted Teddy. His feelings were eating him up tossing him around to the point where he didn't know which way was up. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know you have something to say Cristina...You have to. You always have questions.."

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

Cristina was getting anxious and everything she wanted to say about the whole Teddy situation was about to just burst out of her. She backed up from him and crossed her arms until she brought her hand to her forehead and thought before she spoke.
“Ok…yes..I have something to say.” It was then she finally looked up at him as she took a deep breath and sighed out.
“First…thank you. Thank you for coming in and trying to rescue me. I don’t want you to think me ungrateful. I’m not. But don’t do it again. Seeing you get shot..” She shook her head and then her eyes left him not wanting to really think on that whole scene again. “Ok..ok..Second…I didn’t think I needed anymore explanations You don’t know and you made that quite clear to me. Here’s the thing. I …do…know.” Her eyes began to swell up and before a tear could fall she tried to wipe her eyes but they fell anyway. “I don’t pass out my feelings to anyone. I’ve never been torn in my life. So you telling me you don’t know is something I don’t understand. Because if you don’t know how you feel about Teddy, then you can’t say you know how you feel about me. You can’t. You just can’t. “

She paced around the room some more until she stood on the vent with her back to Owen. A rush of air shot up her and when it finished she knew what she had to say to make him understand her point of view and why his ‘I don’t know’ was an unacceptable answer.
“Jackson Avery kissed me. It was at Arizona’s birthday party. He did it without asking me. He just kissed me. Did I kiss him back? I don’t even remember , but there never was a second kiss.” She turned around and looked at him again face still staining itself with tears. “I knew. I knew it was YOU I was in love with. I don’t share loving longing glances with Avery. I don’t say I don’t know how I feel about him, because I made my choice. I gave my feelings to YOU! So, don’t tell me you don’t know. THAT’S why I broke up with you. So if you don’t know or can’t figure it out, you need to.”
Cristina rarely cried, but when she did Owen knew that it took everything in her to do so. She felt the pain and had to let it out.

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

Owen looked at her as she spoke and he kept his brows furrowed. He sighed a bit as he listened to her. When she said that Avery kissed her he felt heat fill his body. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it and let her continue. He stood up and walked behind her when she was done. "Avery kissed you?" he asked, his mind only focusing on that one point. He clenched his fist on his good hand, "Avery kissed you?" he asked again. "He kissed you and you aren't sure if you kissed him back?"

Owen turned from her and laughed bitterly, nodding as he put his good hand on his hip and looked down at the grated vent. He sighed again and ran his hand through his hair a few times. "I didn't know what I felt for Teddy because she and I have been through so much. And the feelings that we have...they've been there since the beginning...They didn't spring up one night over a few drinks." he said as he looked at her. "But I picked you Cristina. I know that I am in love with you." he said as he turned to her. "I never kissed Teddy...and why are you just now telling me about Avery? He kissed you on Arizona's birthday and you tell me about it now?"

He shook his head and pulled in a breath to calm down. He wanted to go find Avery and run his fist through his face. He clenched his teeth a few times, the muscle in his jaw jumping, his brows pulled low. He sighed again and shook his head. "I can't Cristina.." he trailed off. "I can't do this right now...I need to think.." he mumbled. "I pick you Cristina...I'm choosing you. I'm in love with you. But I can't...do this right now." He looked at her for another moment and then turned and walked out of the vent room.

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

As Owen tried to walk out she followed right after him. “No. You don’t get to leave and walk out. You choose me?? Why was there even a choice, Owen?? That’s what I’m saying. Sorry, I wasn’t all tied up in your past. I didn’t get to share you getting shot at or had men dying all around me. Ohh wait?? I just have. “ Maybe she shouldn’t have said it so harshly and sarcastically, but it was now the truth.

“The reason I didn’t tell you about Jackson is because it meant nothing. Nothing. I work with him everyday. I see him everyday. What I just went through in there, he was there. He’s my colleague and he respects me. I know that relationship. There was no choice. It was and has always… been… you. I didn’t have to pick you. There was no other option.”

[Dr. Owen Hunt]

"Im choosing, Cristina, because you are making me choose! I told you I'm with you because I love you and that hasn't changed!" He said in a harsh whisper. He moved close to her and pushed her back into the vent room again. "I can't say it's always been you, Cristina. It was you the moment I saw you when I got off the ambulance and when you helped me with my leg. I knew it was you when I kissed you after I pulled out your icicle. It's you Cristina. From the moment I met you until I stop breathing it's you." he told her his eyes blazing.

"Before I met you.." he shrugged, "it was Teddy." he said. "When we got out of the Army it was going to be Teddy, but it's not." he kept his brows furrowed and pulled down low. "It's you Cristina....You." he said as he shrugged his good shoulder.

With that he turned again and left the vent. He walked out of the hospital and got into his truck, pinching the bridge of his nose. He laid his head back against the headrest and pulled in a deep breath, trying to calm down. He let it out slowly and opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling of the pick up. He clenched his teeth a bit and tried to relax, even a little. He got out of the truck and walked to Cristina's apartment complex. He walked into her place and grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat on the couch, opening it, tossing the cap on the table, and sipping the beer.

[Dr. Cristina Yang]

When he pushed her back into the room he professed his love to her again. She took in every word and every one made her tears fall. She wanted to believe him. She needed to believe him. All she could so was stare into his piercing blue eyes as they hypnotized her into submission. “Okay” she faintly whispered unsure if Owen probably could even hear it.

He left her alone in the room but she stood at the doorway watching him leave down the hall. She fought against her instinct to go after him. He needed time and so did Cristina. The vent never did serve it’s purpose. She still felt all pent up and anxious. Then it struck her that she promised Meredith some coffee and to check on Derek. She was tired and never went outside since the shooting. She headed back up the stairs, then to the elevator to the Cardio Wing to check on her patient.

"Dr. Yang.” Chief Webber come to her side at the desk. “I want to commend you on an excellent job on Shepherd’s GWS. We are all very proud of you.”
Cristina almost passed out when the chief was talking to her. She lost her balance and held onto him..
”Yang?? Are you alright?? Have you been here this entire time??” He caught her but she pushed him away.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. “
“You are not fine.” He whispered to her and grabbed her arm. “I order you to go home now. Get out of here and get some rest. “
“But…Dr. Shepherd…” She went to go to his room but the Chief pulled her back. “Go home, Yang. You’ve been through a lot in the past twenty-four hours. Go home.”
She nodded in agreement and didn’t bother to head to the locker to change her clothes. She went right to ER and through the doors to her apartment across the street.

[Dr. Meredith Grey]

[Finished!]